"I moved out after high school and found that I no longer ticked the box for ‘speaking a language other than English at home’. Along with miscellaneous other treasures, I’d lost my NESB identity in the move. I started teaching my lover Shanghainese, with as little success as my mother had had in teaching me Mandarin. Most of my sharehousing friends saw their parents once a month, once a year if they lived interstate or overseas. I visit weekly, and if I miss just a month, I notice the words going blank. My queer community celebrates the idea of ‘chosen families’. But my chosen family can’t keep my language in my mouth."